Just showing up

I’m having one of those days where my confidence in my professional abilities is low. It could have something to with being over-tired (I’m a chronic late-night fantasy reader), being in a different place (I’m in Cambridge at the moment) or the last hour I spent browsing job posting where they list a million essential requirements I don’t have (it’s definitely this one).

But regardless, I feel my confidence knocked down substantially. Just imagine if a tiny bunny became just sentient enough to scramble words together on a keyboard but was otherwise woefully unprepared for anything. That’s how I feel today. And in those moments it’s really difficult to put your self out there. We all feel that there are obstacles to putting ourselves out in the world at the best of times. Self-doubt, worry about judgement from others, feeling like an imposter. The latter is particularly common in science, where challenging others for information or evidence is literally part of the job.

And in those moments where we’re struggling more than ever with self-confidence, I think the best think to do is just show up. Do something minimal to show yourself that you can still do this. Your confidence will come back at some point (as long as you stop browsing the job listings), but the worry is it will spiral and you’ll progressively curl up into a ball more and more, as introverts lacking self-confidence are want to do, and that you won’t come back out for days. And as Susan Cain points out, that would be a big shame; the world would be hugely diminished without introverts.

And don’t forget that the confidence of others doesn’t mean competency. You may feel inadequate or like an imposter - it doesn’t mean you’re right! Think of the Dunning-Kuger effect - people that are less capable actually show higher confidence that they are already in-the-know.

But I probably can’t convince you (and by you I mean me) out of it. Feelings are feelings and they’re difficult to shake with words. But actions help a lot more, and the littlest thing that you can do to help yourself is put something out there. Show your work. It could be how you’re working on something, what you’ve got planned, or even how a project failed. Just make something. You can do it.